Aw, Speed......your situation makes me ashamed of what I did the other night to deal with something messed-up that my sister did to me. I blew almost 22 years of sobriety by overdosing on Ativan to get to that "numb" feeling you described. No, I didn't take a drink, but taking too many pills for the same reason is just as bad. I wasn't trying to hurt myself, I only wanted to be stoned and disengaged so I didn't have to feel.

Then I see what you're going through, and I realize how ridiculous my actions were. Please don't overmedicate yourself anymore, Speed---you deserve better, but you won't ever find it if you don't stay around long enough to get some healing time in. Please stay with us. I know we're not much, but we do care about you and are holding you in our thoughts (and prayers, for those who are so inclined).