You know the ones where you don't sleep. However not the ones where you don't sleep and get jiggy with it... cleaning or making somethin' spectacular out of your recycling bin. The ones where you just lay there tossing and turning too tired to get up and do anything, not sleepy enough to close your eyes.

I have tried everything I can think of. Cough flu meds, relaxation, breathing etc. Nothing is really helping. I am under an incredible amount of stress the last while. Insurance claims, injuries, kids, work, mom dx'd with cancer last weekish , $$$ issues etc etc etc.. it's rather not interesting. ... I am in a funk about it all, not my normal self.

I realize I have a box full of psych meds which would sedate a T-rex no doubt. And while it is a little tempting to take something outta that box.. it's not. I dunno. I just want to sleep and wake up and feel energized..like I actually slept. Psych meds don't really give me the vital life feelings upon awakening. And pretty certain most of that is expired. I feel like I am running off nothing lately. Benylin and the like is just making me feel movey and not sleepy just agitated. Movey..heh ya I need some sleep.

I need life to just be you know ..kind. I feel like it's always got something up it's sleeve. And while I can handle it probably..like I am not gonna drop dead, it would also be nice if life showed up in tank top sometimes instead.

I dunno if there is any real point, feeling frustrated, a bit sad, a bit tired, 3/4's annoyed at myself.