My husband of 17 years has depression, dysthemia and anxiety disorders as well as a recent diagnosis of ADD. I am so lonely in my marriage. He is emotionally and physically neglectful. Recently I see him doing this on purpose. He catches himself in normal situations going to touch me or put his arm around me etc....even at night in bed....and will recoil all of a sudden. Our sex life has never been good. (except during our honeymoon stage) He has no drive. I am beginning to think he represses it on purpose as a way of manipulation. He has serious issues with control. It has been discussed ad nauseum in therapy. My story is so long and complicated. But right now, I am desperate and have no one to talk to about this. I am humiliated at how he makes me feel. I just am so sad.

After reading this before I posted it sounds so pathetic. I just need to say it though. I feel like I am grieving and I can't make it stop.