Thanks Trippin.

Her biopsy came back from what they removed from the sole of her foot, quite a large sore, tumor thing. She has (nodular? ) melanoma, her dr said with very aggressive treatment they might be able to stop it. This will be her second go with cancer, and my sister and thank god my sisters scare this year turned out not to be cancer again.

Then I feel rather guilty for worrying more about my sister than my mom. Then I feel angry because if my mom dies our relationship status will be permanent. It's pretty darn scarred up. Then I feel selfish for feeling what I do...you can see the web I'm spinning here. So rather just not think about it and then even when I do sleep it invades my dream space as well. I really do not want to loose my mom at all, in any way.

Reminds me of when my dad dies and how our relationship became permantly never gonna happen. It's a little different with her. But ya I feel pretty selfish for that. I am upset to it's just ultra confusing.

Thanks sis, I will probably take you up on that offer. Hope you are ok. love you heaps of bunches