So why do you have to do anything about this now? Are you being pressured to make plans for the holidays or something? I think you are lucky to have your bf. I am Italian-american, so I get the family "stuff" - asian, italian, east indian - we all get that family carp! I also think you are lucky to have gotten away at such a young age - I waited too long. I would make an excuse for the 2013 holidays, then again for 2014... It's hard, but they made their choice a long time ago. Now you are making your choice. You have had enough of their nonsense. It's not a joke anymore. They can't fool you anymore. Just get mad. You matter.