No matter how much chit chat and friendliness we have with co-workers, they truly are not friends, unless the relationship goes beyond the workplace. Many people believe that it is not good to mix work relationships with personal relationships. That can be argued and there are good points on either side of the argument. It sounds like you do what most people do, which is to leave your work relationships at the job. To say that this interaction with co-workers does not meet your need for friendship is not at all stupid.

If you feel lonely, you are lonely. And it's not stupid. Husbands often do not make the best friends. That's not stupid for you to feel either. Many members here at PC describe their conversations with their Ts as the most satisfying interaction that they have. So you are not alone there either. I agree that it is worrisome to wonder what will happen when you are not in therapy.

What you are looking for from friendships is not "too much" IMO. It is what we are all looking for. Like many of us, you haven't found it. I haven't either, and it makes me very sad. I think that building friendships takes real skills that some of us did not develop. We may be ever so competent on other fronts, but never have gained a lot of experience in the area of friendship. I believe there are usually good reasons for that. They go back to childhood.

I tried to compensate by making the most of whatever relationships I could find. Some of them were not healthy. When I came to realize that, I withdrew. Now I am way too alone. It is an incredibly hard problem to solve, it we ever do solve it. I feel for you.