Hi everyone! After about 15 years of doing drugs and drinking (I am 26) and being in and out of rehabs and trying to stop over and over I think I reached my "bottom" 3 months ago. I thought for a while I could be a social drinker and I didnt have addiction issues (despite having personal, financial, and school problems in the past..it is funny how you lie to yourself). But slowly it became an obsession again and I started drinking every night and taking benzos and just went futher down. I stopped drinking, thinking I had a problem but not a physical one. Well I ended up getting withdrawals for a week and that really woke me up to the problem. I knew I had to stop, I had no choice really. I saw for the first time in my life how many relationships and years I lost because of my substance use.

So I told my friends and family I was stopping all drugs and drinking three months ago. No one believed me. I dont think anyone still does that I am serious about this. My friend even said to me "when you decide to start drinking again we will get drunk, I will be waiting for you" I continually am getting invites for getting drunk and someone offered me drugs this past weekend. I have declined but obviously it is hard. This weekend I really want to get drunk or high cause I was feeling really depressed but I ended up not because I remember the bad stuff taht went along with it. No one believes me in my life that I can do this and that I can quit. People are waiting for me to mess up again. I try to hang out with trustworthy people and the people I thought I could trust are the very people who think I am going to fail. It makes me sad.

So I am going to try to post here cause I just need some support in this endevor. 96 days and counting.