I get what you're saying.... Somebody posted something on here a while back that I can't find, but can summarize it well enough... Basically, it said "I have gone a few days without it now. I know I will cut again, but I don't need to do it for every minor thing that happens... Why not go as long as I can without it?"

For me, this was very helpful in making me feel less guilty... It's great to go as long as you can without it, but sometimes it is more stressful and more painful to not do it, and it really does help to be able to release that pain in some way... I don't know if that does anything to help you figure out what you want to do, but I hope so..