For a very long time I felt I was born the wrong gender, like maybe I was male in a past life or something.

I mentioned it with my psychiatrist/therapist twice. The first time, he responded "You mean like a lesbian?" and I was like, No, automatically. Just a man stuck as a woman.

And the second time a few months later it came up - he responded the same way- as if he forgot. But I think that a comment like that is strong to be forgotten and he was trying to seep the idea in that I might be a lesbian. I answered the same way regardless.

And now I won't bring it up anymore, not purposefully, but clearly it bothers me. Maybe he's right, I don't know. I'm happily married with two kids. Sex is good. I don't want to have sex with a woman, but I do admire their beauty. I am aroused by my own reflection sometimes. I have a memory of fantasizing about being a man having sex with a woman, followed by shame.

I live life as a woman. I got used to the idea. I still feel male, but I accepted my role in my body and I don't have to have surgery to do the things I want that feel 'male'

But my psychiatrist made me feel all confused. I'm afraid I'm just in denial because it would be super inconvenient. Like, what if I were a lesbian. Do I really need to derail my marriage with this information?

I hope this doesn't step on any toes. I'm sincerely confused.