Thank you for all of your answers and advise. Yes I take 20 pills a day- no joke. I have an appointment on Friday like I said to see the doc and no matter what some changes are being made with my meds. I have given them since January and I don't feel better. I feel better with my anxiety because I take Klonopin for that. I do take responsibility for my reactions and the way I treat others. I don't use "Oh Im Bipolar so I can treat people however I want" NO, that is not the case. But I am saying that I do and I admit I am impatient with him and am not the best wife out there sometimes. And I also know I have been diagnosed with Bipolar (with multiple of other things) but I am me; not I am Bipolar, I am panic attacks, I am anxiety, I am BPD, etc. I am just plain me with some mental illnesses. I go to therapy to get treatment I see psychiatrist and take my meds like Im suppose to. And I don't have insurance so I pay all of these expenses myself- husband included. So I am obviously making the steps to try to be my best with dealing with all this stuff going on.