Hello Morgansangel,

First of all, welcome to PC! You should find many people who share similar experiences here, I know I have.

I'm sorry you are in so much pain!
What exactly are your ED issues? I understand that you're an emotional eater (I completely relate to that unfortunately), but are you binging too?

I think you should focus on feeling/being healthy, rather than what "society" expects us to look like. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and I think that is something that is becoming more accepted here in the US, I hope it is where you are as well.

Have you ever tried something like the Mediterranean Diet yet? It's a lifestyle more of a lifestyle change, rather than a 'diet' that restricts you, leaving you feeling deprived. I think it's a very healthy way of eating, and I try to eat that way most of the time, (when I'm not off the wagon eating fries, pizza, etc.).

Also, you mentioned you don't like exercising at the gym, which I can understand, but what about going for a long bike ride on a nice day, or go for a long walk while listening to some upbeat music that you . I really enjoy long walks and bike rides as long as I've got my music w/ me. I usually feel better after I force myself to go outside for some type of exercise. Also, are there any videos you own, or could get online, that you could do a workout at home when it's not nice out (and in the comfort of your own home)?

Maybe you can set a goal, perhaps through myfitnesspal's website, and commit to work out 30 min a couple of times a week for a month or so and see how it goes. I too tend to overdo the exercise thing once I get started, so I know how it can be difficult to stop.

One last suggestion I have is meditation; have you tried it yet?

Best Wishes,
SeekingZen