My t says you dont have to feel like you're in the wrong and getting yelled at in order to improve. He prefers you dont.

I don't really understand your comment? Most professional relationships used to be looked at far more formally in the past than now, so seeing a T as a peer would have been much less common then. I don't understand equating a peer relationship with not getting yelled at. I never saw my T as a peer (nor did I particularly want to), and there was certainly transference of a more parental type, but he never treated me in any way that made me feel less than or inferior. My point is just that the desire to put a T in a peer role can come from a lot of different motivations, (including from the T's philosophy and modality), and not be the inherent consequence of a real life connection--like going to the same U.