Thanks for all your imput. The Pot is always thrown out. He worked all summer and hence has money in his account. Which I am very proud of he was never late and never complained. Making some headway, trying to talk things through and engaging him in other activities like practising driving to give him another focus. Really try hard to praise him for every success even little things like picking up the wet towel of the floor. He agreed that we will go get his bloods done just to check if everything's ok as he is very tired all the time. Have appointments to see his teachers. We are very open about mental health , substance abuse etc.. We have to be , I hope that he sees that we all tackle and try to improve our problems. Most of all though I really try to show that he is loved and wanted. I'm just hoping that by being open and willing to talk that we will make some headway. I should also probably remember that my own childhood is not an indicator that my son and his personality will have the same fate.