I wrote a long letter to my old T last night. Of course, she will never see it, but hopefully writing down all the thoughts and feelings I have about and for her will get them out of my head so I can quit obsessing. It was some really dark stuff that almost scared me when I saw it written down. I think it would scare her too if she ever new. I wish that this was something I could talk to me new T about, but I'm afraid she would think I was a "danger to myself or others".