in some ways you sound like me. no matter who is is, spouse friend, etc they never get below the surface. I do not call them friends. they are associates. I gots lots of associates, but no friends. never had any. as a child I was even sent to the child psy. from kindergarten thru the 4th grade. even he could not find why I could not make friends. fast forward. I an 51 never had a true friend, been married 3 times, still never had a person I could call a friend.

so yes you can talk to me as you wish, because I do understand lonliness. there is NOTHING wrong with you, so you have nothing to be guilty about. it is a big scary world out there, but sometimes just having someone listen can help. (never worked for me, but I have seen it work for others)