The pain goes deep and it does feel as if it never goes away. But we are Survivors of this abuse, we will prevail and move forward with our lives and do the very best that we can, for we know we were deserving of so much better. The inner child continues to remember and suffer, but be your own nurturing parent to that inner child and praise her for surviving and being brave enough to survive her ordeal, love your inner child and reassure her often. As an adult now, you can protect your own inner child and help her through the suffering. No child is deserving of being abused, we are innocent little children. It is our parents who are supposed to protect us, they are the ones who are supposed to show us by their actions, that the world is a safe place to be, that we are loved, wanted, and deserving. Often times they fail at their jobs so badly, they never should have been parents at all. I too suffered from the sexual child abuse at my father's hands, the youngest of three (3) girls, all of us suffer to this day from the effects of having been sexually abused. We were all told that he would kill us, told that our mother would leave us (fear of abandonment lingers throughout life) if we ever mentioned it. Throughout the years, having been the victim from age 3-12 and lived in fear even beyond until I was 18 yoa and left home, therapy has helped. My fathers death when I was 22 did not effect me, nor my sisters, we were glad he was gone. Even though he was gone, we knew from a very young age, that our mother would not protect us and the unspoken message by her actions / lack of action was --- fend for yourself, you are on your own. Our self-esteem in life has suffered from a fathers sexual abuse and a mother's emotional neglect and unwillingness to even listen to the oldest daughter at age 9, who did try to speak out and expected our mother to "make it stop" and to protect her little sisters. Children deserve better, but we are innocent children and we are not the ones as fault for what happened to us. PTSD and other conditions we are labeled with, but still, I refuse to see myself as a victim any longer, for I am... and so are you, a Survivor. May inner peace and harmony be yours from this day forward... friend and fellow Survivor.