Hi, i'm sorry that you're having such a hard time with life right now. it sounds as if you've been through quite a bit with your mother, is that correct?

do you have a therapist or a counselor to talk to? someone close to you that you trust? you would benefit from having someone IRL to listen to you and lend you a shoulder

i am so sorry that you shake when you try to talk to your mom. no one should be in that much pain concerning a parent.......keep posting.........xoxoxo pat