Rapunzel,

I can relate to your descriptions of the attempts to elicit sympathy from others and the please rescue me. I really do relate! And I recently discovered that I don't just want someone to rescue me... I want them to WANT TO rescue me. Being aware of this is a first step.

Have you and your T talked openly about this? If not, it might be a good idea to do that; it might make a difference in your current relationship by talking about it and deciding on boundaries that are acceptable to both of you. If you think you can't save this therapeutic relationship and will find a new T, I would encourage you to talk about this with the new T right away, as in the first session.

In fact, I have had these feelings about myself and my behaviors for a while but I haven't talked about them with my T. I think I would like to talk with her about this soon, as I think it surely affects the relationship; I know that it definitely affects my constant worry about her leaving me. Getting it out into the open will be good.

Thank you for talking about this.

And, Alexandra, thank you for all your information too, which is always so interesting and valuable. I have learned much from you and I'm always happy when you reply to one of my posts.

Rapunzel, I wish you the best. I too am tired of being stuck and of losing relationships that were meaningful to me but which were ruined by my neediness. I hope we both get past this by plunging right through it, and out the other side!

ECHOES