Thank you Quebec. I took Quito for cremation on the 19th. I created a beautiful ceremony for him. I'm sad and also feel some kind of relief. The process has ended for the most part. i released him finally. the next steps will be the spreading of the ashes. that will happen some day in the far future. i'm in no hurry. i have pendants for pictures and pendants to hold some of their ashes and fur i carry/wear the pendant with their photos with me all the time. i have their ashes in boxes on an altar that i created with their photos and poetry and candles and sage... i'm amazed by the effect that the cremation is having on me. it is more completely making me face their ending. with Quito being the last to go it was almost like losing them both together. no more furry kitties in my home... for now.

except for when i tempt the 4 outdoor cats that i feed to come inside while i leave the door open and set food inside. the baby is so adorable and lets me pick her up sometimes, albeit for only a few seconds whenever they come in if only a few feet and only for a few minutes, it just reminds me of how much i miss having other life walking around my feet... the baby is very cute, sometimes she'll come in all the way to the kitchen at feeding time while i'm preparing their dishes.

i know i'm not ready yet to adopt anyone. i'm just too raw and too exhausted from grief and all the work it took the last year to take care of my boyz in their old age... i still cry. i won't ever stop crying. that much i know.

Quito is the white/brown kitty.
Taño is the brown guy.