I was doing so well this week. I was on a high. Life felt great. I was carefree. Then I went to the psychiatrist today and completed messed everything up. Now I'm thinking about dying again.

I talked to a psychiatrist today, but I told a lot of lies. I didn't mean too, I somehow didn't answer the questions truthfully. I hate this about myself. I always leave the most out important information or do stupid things like this on accident.

I didn't tell her that I thinking about suicide almost on a daily basis, or that I get urges to self harm. I even called back and told her I "think about dying." I couldn't get the words out of my mouth, so she didn't quite get what I meant. I'm guessing she thinks I'm actually doing a lot better than I am.

I still feel like I'm going to fall apart any day now. I feel like my next week is going to be hell, after having such a great past few days. I can't rewind a few hours and change how I answer the questionnaire and how I answer her questions. Anything to do?