Today has been a bad day, and right now, 1:36am, depression, or whatever it is, has just entirely washed over me. I got a huge urge to SH, and it came with a wonderful image of me doing it, ... felt just like the old days. I feel so stupid, because I feel this way, after getting so angry/frustrated at people who self-harm, and myself for having self-harmed in the past. My old thought processes are kicking in:

• Who cares?
• Nobody has to know.
• I need to.
• I deserve it.

And other similar thoughts.

I will probably come back to this tomorrow and totally nail it to the wall with psychobabble, but at the end of the day, I feel like crap, right NOW.

I still know that it's pointless to do it, and I still know it's going to cause more problems than good. TBH? If anything, what I have left, is to not do it out of spite; it's a powerful thing.