I made my appointment today. I guess I was approved for state appointed insurance. I spoke to the doctor. I answered the questions. Some were harder than others. I couldn't believe that I actually stumbled and hesitated when he asked if I had any disordered eating habits. It kind of made me wonder. I was as honest as I could be. Talked mostly about my depression and social issues. I have an appointment to see a doctor next Thursday. I... don't know exactly what for. I was too afraid to ask. He said something about medication, though. So... I'm guessing that? Then, an appointment to see him again on the 31st. Which is a long way away. But it gives me time to get my thoughts together.

I liked him alright. After I told him I had trouble with contact, he made sure to ask if a handshake was okay. I was hesitant, but accepted one. I'm sure he noticed my hesitance, though. I'm nervous, but this is a step in the right direction. At least, that's what I'm trying to tell myself. If I keep repeating it, maybe I'll believe it.

I feel miserable other than all that. I barely slept. I couldn't get to sleep last night. Tossed and turned all night. I think it was nerves. I've hardly eaten at all. That's another topic, though. (And part of the reason I hesitated answering his question, I suspect) I felt weak all day. Weak and nauseous. I've been cranky, and I feel horrible because of it. I'm, essentially, terrified.