I have trouble accepting my behavior which seems to be required for change. I call myself a crybaby. My T tried to tell me that I am just sensititve. I just can't swallow that attempt at a re-think.
As for a harsh T, someone the responses reminded me of a class that I took. I did a pretend therapy session with a classmate. I played the client and he was the counselor. I complained about life being hard and he started to try to make me see it in a more positive way right a way. I felt as if he didn't believe me. So, I refused to even budge towards a more positive way of seeing it.
Afterwards, I wanted to try to explain to him that his approach would have worked a lot better if he was to have validated my feelings and empathized with me some before trying to change my perception. I am not big on changing my perception before I feel heard. That sounds like what some of these responses are saying.
I think it is hard to accept someone and encourage change but it can be done. I think my T does it sometimes. She had trouble when she wanted me to try and anti-depressant and never once ask me why I didn't want to. I know that at first I claimed up too fast for a frank conversation on the subject. Could you suggest to your T a way to modify her approach? Could you tell her some times that you felt that she was especially helpfull to you to help her figure out what will work for you? My T trys to tell me to tell her if something isn't working for me. But, I just can't do that. Have you told her how you feel when she says something harsh at that moment? (Again, something that I can't do with my T yet.) I wish I had the ability to do that with my first psychiatrist.