I have a similar anecdote. I once showed up to my t's office for an appoitment and I was told that she was off sick. I had to run out before I started to cry too. This was a long time ago now and I used to SI. I felt really very abandoned and I went home and SI'd to cope. A couple days later she called me up and said she had been in a car accident and she was in hospital the day of the appoitment. I felt so embarrassed about SI. I had to show her my diary card, but she didn't process that episode with me. I learned something from that though. I try to give my t the benefit of the doubt if they don't show up or something. That certainly doesn't prevent my feeling sad and hurt and abandoned, but rationally I tell myself that something really important must have come up. But that certainly doesn't prevent my feeling sad and hurt and abandoned.

I was abandoned (or I felt abandoned) as a kid too. So I guess I'm super-sensitive to attachment figures leaving me. Getting sick of me and emotionally withdrawing and / or physically leaving me. It can be hard... But I guess the feelings come from there. Grief over that past hurt. And I guess that since that was my experience with my main attachment figure when I feel attached to someone I figure the experience will happen again. Like how if people have good experiences with their main attachment figure then they figure the experience will happen again.