I'm sure everything you share is true. I'm worried that you are hping something might get better. Itseems realistic that you may need hellp keeping yourfeelings from goingdown, and you may needthat help right away, before anything has a chance of improving.

It doesn't feel llike it, but somewhere there isa way you can get a better sense of control over your life. Professionals are trainedto help with this, and they are tehbest way to go. Please don't waitfor things to get worse.

It's hard not to give advice. The main thing Iwantto give you is support in the form ofassuring you that many of us have a good sense of how you are feeling, and we don't want that pain for you.