Hi, Jenny.

Sorry you are feeling so bad. I understand. I would suggest you see a psychiatrist for an assessment. Maybe he can helpt you with medications. Also, a therapist would be good to help you work through your feelings. You are also grieving the lose of your friend; a therapist can help with your grief as well.
We also have a grief forum. you might want to post there.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha