(((( LovesEcho ))))

You sound like me. Are you me???

You said:
"they have the luxury of forgetting the pain... of withdrawing"

You know, I said the very same thing once in another support group that I am involved with. A very wise member there reminded me of the compassion that I sometimes forget when I'm at the end of my rope. She said something along the lines of "it's not a luxury to stay in bed or withdraw - WE have the luxury of being proud of ourselves". She said a lot more -- I wish I had saved it.

I know that urging you to regenerate some compassion right now is the last thing you want to hear, but I thought that her perspective was useful to me when I was ready to go ballistic with frustration and resentment.

Not sure what else to say other than you've done your share of helping others and I hope that you find some peace for yourself very soon.