Hi there sweetheart
firstly never think anything is pathetic, it is how you are feeling and to you that is very real and something which is causing you some hastle at the moment
I hear what you are saying and from what you say you are feeling very unloved and uncared for at the moment.
We all need to feel loved and cared for and I admire you for speaking out and saying how you feel, that alone is a big step.
Let me ask you, if you could have one thing at this moment in time which you believe would help you to begin to feel a bit better what would it be?
You mention your story being long and complicated, well if you would like an ear, please email me or write back. Sometimes having someone to listen can make the world of difference
My email ad is Grocott3@aol.com
If you do email I promise you that I will email back asap
Just know in your heart you will get through this even if at the moment it seems impossible
Love Lynn xz