Thank you all for your replies. You've really helped me focus on what the real issue is, which isn't my relationship at all.

I think I've been depressed for a while. I've come very close to calling therapists many, many times but I always chicken out. I just don't like talking to people.

I guess I just need to make myself do something about this. It's been too long and I'm tired of feeling like I'm never happy.