I don't smoke everyday. Like I don't have to. I just enjoy it.

But I'm realizing... I can't go on living this way. If I do.. I will likely be 300+ pounds because of the MUNCHIES. DAMN YOU MUNCHIES!

Lol no.. but.. seriously.. I think it is a problem. I look forward to it too much? I think I just want to stop and not have to use it to feel comfortable.

I really don't know what I'm like.. escaping from. Maybe just the monotony that daily life can be..
I think it has to be some issue like that.. because I don't really have any trauma or any event that I'm trying to get away from.

I just.. I like chilling. Especially on days like this where it's rainy outside and you're too tired to socialize.

It's just.. it's not productive. I wish I could be productive with it.. but I just do what people who usually smoke pot do.. (and I'll leave it at that).

I usually can't be very productive on this stuff. Meh.

Any suggestions? I think the occasional smoke is still fine, but I think I'm realizing I really am relying on this stuff for comfort.

I just need another source that makes me feel secure. I know writing/doing art/journaling/praying/w.e. can help.. but I also have to WANT to do that stuff when I'm anxious.. and it's like I don't want to. I'd rather just turn to the drug and take my mind off of EVERYTHING for a couple of hours. I know I am using it to cope. The alternatives just don't seem as good to me. I know that's kind of a mess, but that's where I'm at.