Its been 7 yrs since the diagnosis but I am a quiet bp'er. Sneaky might be a better word. But for the most part we do care for each other, we've been to marriage counseling to figure out what is bp behavior and what is just being butt heads. We live mostly separate lives, its been that way for all 27 yrs, a military marriage. He's retired now but works out of state most of the week. We get along. Other than the online affair he knows about that got me my dx, there's been no upsets. I've been told he's cheated but I have no proof. As long as we are settled I'm cool. I know I will be well provided for if I were to file for divorce, I've already inquired. But he's there for me when I need him to be so it works whether he understands it all or not.