I can certainly understand your anxiety not knowing what happened that night. whether you used drugs or not is not the issue, the point is you were out of control. mixing alcohol with benzos is never a good idea. you never know what may happen. you can really remember how you are feeling right now so that you don't make the decision to repeat the same mistake. that way you don't have to re-experience what you are going thru right now. take care of yourself.