Of course! This all helps me too, bc it's so easy for me to relate to. You're so so welcome... Anytime, really. Perspective is so key and to have so many mindful and caring responses is just what one needs... On the meds note-- have u been satisfied? Maybe your doctor is not listening as much as u would like? Such a tricky and tough process... Oh I so feel for ya... I am on 2.5 mg klonopin, 200 mg lamotrogine, and vistaril have been on many other antipsychotics and tranquilizers, after a manic episode and it makes anyone I love cry when they see me. I'm a zombie on them.... No expression, affection, sarcasm, wit, can't read, have no sex drive. Everyone is different. Some meds I can't take may work awesome for others,. My doc recommended celexa to add instead of vistaril and another .5 mg of klonopin, and I was just too scared to try an sari anti depressant... I am going to see how my current change in meds will affect me this month, though I feel I may need the celexa so I can lesson my klonopin. It's so hard to get off of, but we are afraid with me being so prone to rapid situations of enormous anxiety I need it so I don't get manic, for me anxiety mainly and lack of sleep does it. I'm sorry for rambling! There are so many options tell ur doc exactly what u want and don't want so they can adjust, as a caring good doc will do! Xo