Why did I feel a sudden jolt of severe anxiety? I think I had a panic attack and it's depressed me. I want to hide or die right now.

I hate people and I'm filled with anger because of their hypocrisy, foolishness and vanity. Why are people so stupid? They're so ignorant. They only listen to the confident. They ignore the meek. They're so easy to manipulate. They listen to emotions instead of reason. They're selfish too. I didn't choose to be with them. I hate them. And they hate me. Or at the very least, they dread me.

I hate myself too. I can't control my emotions and it makes me feel like dying. I'm socially anxious, emotionally unstable and cognitively deficient. I'm above average intelligence according to an IQ test, but I hate being controlled by my feelings. It's got me wondering, why am I alive? I want to die. I can't even cry. I just have this unexplainable anguish. I'm my own worst enemy.

I can't handle the stress of my life. It's pointless. I want to hide from society in a log cabin in the woods and forget about conformity. Forget about the lies, drama, bureaucracy, corporatism, war, etc...

There's no way for me to face my insecurity. There's no way I'll be in peace and be alive. If I ever will, then it will be fleeting. This feeling however, stays like an unending blizzard. No light in sight, but trite nights locked inside. My life is a nightmare.