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Oct 04, 2013, 09:45 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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Quote:
Originally Posted by henrydavidtherobot
Dragonfly, I didn’t mean that I feel like I have multiple personalities per se. I’m always myself, but I feel like I loose control of optimal me a lot of the time. I struggle with a lot of black and white thinking, but everyone agrees that I am a rational person.
I have no doubt in my mind that I have Borderline tendencies. My friends with Borderline Personality disorder always say that they could see “a little borderline in me”. Honestly, I think I would have been diagnosed with BPD (I’m using it correctly this time) two years ago. I’ve had two Ts say things that hinted towards BPD or BPD tendencies such as “that would be more of a personality thing” and “you have the history set up for BPD, but you’ve done really well with yourself”. I asked both if they thought I had it and they said they suspected a mood disorder. I also brought the issue up with my P and she diagnosed me with Cyclothymia with OCD and Agoraphobic tendencies.
It’s good to hear that you all can relate to me. I’m always confused when people describe mania or hypomania as happy. I am happy when I am sometimes, but I’m also terrified because I feel myself doing risky things and honestly have an incredibly hard time reeling myself back in. It sucks to feel like you’re not going to be well a lot of the time and have no control, you know?
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Particularly the rapid shifting moods and your depressive reaction to abandonment.
This actually does sound like 'BPD' (Borderline). But if you want to parse out the differences, I would think/journal about what triggers the impulsivity, extra energy, anger, depression. Bipolar Disorder is not characterized by rapid mood shifts (or 'mood swings') but by persistent and pervasive/long duration moods (whatever the flavor of bipolar you may have) and episodes are not quick reactions to things like disappointment, abandonment, etc. Feeling better than others for periods of time, hyperness, irritability, etc. can exist outside of bipolar disorder.
At the end of the day, what matters is what treatment will most help. Because we all want to feel better, and function at the highest level possible and have good relationships with others.
I think, in general, human nature is such that we're likely to favor the less stigmatizing explanation for our behavior, emotions, etc. Which is all well and good, as long as the treatment works.
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