it does sound like some T window shopping is in order ... maybe spend some time writing down what you think would be most helpful to you in a therapist and make up a checklist for that

for example

someone willing to read what you write seems like a good idea for you

do you want someone who backs off when you are in angry, alone, miserable state or someone who will push you to challenge your thinking

someone who will just listen to you and make comforting sounds or someone who will be supportive in other ways?

etc

and if you think it would help run the list you come up with by members here and see if anyone can suggest anything else for you to consider