Recently, I've found out a lot about a close friend of mine. She has these secret rants on the internet to strangers, and she doesn't tell her REAL friends about it, because she's "afraid for her reputation" and she's apparently pressured into thinking she should be the nice person and let her feelings be all bottled up. She doesn't trust anyone, but expect people to trust her. She loves helping out people for that reason, and is great when listening to other people's problems. She's very nice, but...after reading all those things she said, I felt shattered. I've always wondered why she didn't have any emotions that needed sorting out, so this explained a lot. i have been friends with her for 7 years. I trusted her with my secrets, and I felt bad about bothering her about it, but of course she said she didn't mind. She never talked to me about her problems. Though I've said she could always come to me. I was torn. But she's human too, right? Hence her posts and rants. What? Am I supposed to be angry at her? When I don't actually have the right to? She knows I've read her stuff, (another friend of mine told me about the rant posts and I went to read them and the very same friend told her I've read it) and unsurprisingly, she doesn't seem to need to do anything about it. She pretends every thing is alright and secretly hates people. i mean...am I supposed to still stay friends with her? i keep crying as i remember all the good memories and all the things she's done for me. She was so good to me. And i've been nothing but a piece of scum to her.

what's the point in telling and confiding anyone when they're ALL GOING TO LEAVE YOU IN THE END?! AND THEY SECRETLY HATE YOU? I'M losing it right now.....what's the point?! what's the point? Might as well keep it to yourself and not trouble anyone about it, and if you get insane about it, then it's your problem! I'm gonna start pretending everything is ok and not talk to anyone about it? Is that what's right? I'd rather be alone! And here I am ranting, what a hypocrite, but this is the place to rant, and...I'm glad I've found it..thank you for those who have read this post. Even if you don't know what to say, still thank you for taking the time to read.