(((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))),

I haven't been here for a long time & when I came back & read your post about your mother, the situation I went through with my Mother came back into my mind full force.

My Mother wanted to come home so bad that she manulipulated the situation so that I wasn't able to be arrange for the care she needed & that was when the neighbor of my Mothers boyfriend pulled the fraud of supposedly being the home care RN (which she wasn't even an RN) to make everything go smoothly for my Mother to be able to come home to her own home.

Not saying that the fraud would occur in your situation, but it is important for you to make sure that both her Dr, the social worker, & your Mother knows exactly what care she is going to need after discharge & that needs to be known NOW & not at the time your mother is being discharged.

Know exactly what types of care your mother is going to need at home. If she is going to need RN care or if she is going to need just physical care which includes getting her to the bathroom, cleaning her up, moving her around. I know for me, there was no way I could physically take care of my Mother either for the medical care or to physically move her around. Like you, I wasn't physically well or strong enough to care for her. My Mother needed 24 hour care & there was no way that 1 person could provide that kind of care. Unfortunately, my Mother kept telling them that I was taking care of everything while I was continually telling her that I needed to be there when her Dr & the social worker talked to her about the care she was going to need. I continually put in requests at the nursing station to be called & make arrangements for me to be there when they talked to my Mother (since I lived over an hour away from the hospital).

It is important for your Mother to know if you aren't able to provide the care she needs & it is important for you not to be pressured by her just because she so badly wants to be at home rather than in a care facility. From what I have read in your post, you know your limits, but what is important is that you don't feel pressured by your Mother to "try" to do it anyway. There are times when the Dr's feel that the patient is ready to be discharged, but not ready to actually go home. There is transitional care facilities that are available to take care of the patient until they are strong enough to really go home & no matter how bad your Mother wants to be home, it is important to do the right thing & that isn't always what they want.

Please take care of yourself even if it makes your Mother unhappy.

Debbie