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Originally Posted by Thorn Bird
I have though recently that I may be suffering from trauma bonding. I think that it is all part of the roller coaster - the Jekyll and Hyde. Every time things are good I cling to them and yet fearful if I say or do anything to his displeasure he will 'rage' and the 'cycle of abuse' will begin again. It is like 'walking on egg shells' and making continued efforts to please and comply for fear I will trigger the 'rage' - and so if I have Trauma Bonding - what can I do and as he has some insight is there anyway I can persuade him to go to Therapy?
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Honestly I don't think you can convince him to go to therapy, without inflicting some kind of trauma on his psyche yourself, before you traumatize him (sounds bad I know) you'd have to prime him with the idea, and confront him that you think he needs therapy and why you think he needs therapy. If he did go to therapy it would most likely just be a waste of time, narcissists hate therapists and there are very few therapists who have the training credentials or the patience to deal with a narcissist. Check out this link by the co-author of the book "stop walking on eggshells" - I have BPD and people, especially those I've lived with, often say they have to walk on eggshells around me to avoid conflict.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...s-seek-therapy
Personally I think you are in a catch 22 and there is no easy way out. If you confront him about his b/s he is going to get angry and potentially could inflict more abuse on you. On the other hand, if you continue to stay with him, you will lose your sense of self, and risk getting abused anyways. If you leave him, do it from a safe distance, don't give him any opportunity to retaliate and be wary of any attempts he makes to reunite. I think the latter is your best option, since he has a history of being abusive, controlling and manipulative. Therapy is not going to change his personality, if anything, it will just make him not so sharp around the edges.
