|
Oct 05, 2013, 06:40 PM
|
|
|
Underground: Ohhhhhh, okay! Gotcha. I'm just trying so hard to remove the typical patterns of my thinking. "Mindfulness" & whatnot. So I suppose I was over-sensitive about that terminology... I'm just hitting such a brick wall with trying not to be destructive. Or self-destructive. I've even been undergoing waves of denial -- how could I be disordered if I'm even making what brief strides I have been? It's very conflicting.
And yes, I know how easy it is to move on... It's definitely something I admire about myself. But I'm trying to fight that because I've already put in so much effort. It'd make the past 3 months a complete waste of time! And that's something that's more uncomfortable than trying at all.
I've been medicating my Bipolar & that's helping me stay focused & has been slowly removing the intensity of detrimental traits. Impulsivity, callousness, etc. So at least I only have my PDs to worry about -- making my hand much simpler to deal with. I've been reading this book "the Wisdom of Psychopaths" & I'm trying to reverse-engineer it into using my powers for good. Or at least productively.
Here Today: Awwwwwh, well thanks for being so helpful with that insightful anecdote. I think I'll spare the deletion since it was in good faith. 
|