What do you want? Do you have any ideas or dreams of what you would like your life to be like. I have found friends and acquaintances whose manner I have liked the looks of and tried to understand and sort of copy the way they did things.

For example, I liked how a coworker talked to her sometimes difficult elderly mother on the phone so I thought about that, how patient she was, how she listened, how she rewarded her mother with positive, affirming remarks to keep the conversation positive, things like that. She did not seem to make negative assumptions about her mother's words and expressions but accepted them as valid for her mother.

There were times when I copied my T too, or have paid attention to my husband and how he interacts with others. I think there is a lot one can get going just paying more attention to how others do things when we realize we are drawn to their ways of being.