Bumble2, re your message in #47, I have no advice, per se. Just sharing that I saw your message.

I guess if he's flouting your house rules, it seems, (and the law) he's old enough to pay towards the rent.

There used to be a parent mutual support org named ToughLove

Here's an article from '04 'ToughLove' founders stand by their program They believe the crisis-intervention program, made popular in the 1980s, may be ready for a comeback. But it's a tougher sell this time. - Philly.com

For every one of your child's transgression that you demand a price or service (rent, chores, limits on car use, allowance, etc.) seems a step to loving limits he learns at home. The further from home that deals with this, the harsher, the more life prospects are damaged.

Revu2