Tao, you're doing well. You're seeing the counsellor. THAT IS PROGRESS, no matter what you believe. If you're thinking otherwise, that is your depression, telling you more lies.

I call my package of mental illnesses "the monster". It is an apt name. The monster is a mighty opponent. He is a master of lies. He'll tell you anything to drag you down into the pit with him. Since depression is a sickness of the mind, the monster will play on your worst fears and exploit them.

I'm finding my own mood going down as well. I have to fight this thing from hour to hour sometimes. My moods are bouncing around like Tigger, like a big rubber ball from hell.

My advice to you is to give yourself permission to bounce. Roll with it. DON'T GIVE INTO SUICIDE THOUGH!!!! If you do, it will be the LAST mistake you ever make.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.