Depression is a devouring monster, JanuaryGiirl, as you know. As a single mom with a six yr-old boy and an unfaithful (ex)husband, you'd be pretty thoroughly distressed even without a diagnosis of clinical depression from childhood.

I'm glad you found PsychCentral. Please investigate the forums and post wherever you feel a connection, or start a thread. I'm bipolar but mostly at the depressed pole and have spent over a year in "the pit" at a time. My psychiatrist works hard to find the best meds for me and the best strength--not settling for something "good enough" or about right.

I cope sometimes by doggie-paddling ... by which I mean working hard to stay in place. I focus on this place, this time--and pour all my effort into staying in the now, the present. This isn't possible for you, with that 6-yr old son--but try to find a close alternative. The goal is to keep your mind from looking back (where you aren't ever going to be again) and from looking ahead (which you can only speculate about, a meaningless exercise ... everything might be totally different bt the time tomorrow becomes today).

If that pit keeps pulling you, and that quicksand keeps grabbing, I think you need to re-evaluate your fundamental intervention ... is it therapy, meds, what? Talk with your doctor or therapist. Ask what their plan for you is, what the next step is, and make it clear that the way life is for you now isn't acceptable--you want to make changes.

Please post a lot, write to folks you connect with, especially who suffer from depression. There is a parenting forum too. There are many generous folks here who can help you with coping skills and a support network that may work alongside the one you have IRL. I have times nearly every day when I'd rather not deal with this life, but I doggie-paddle (or tie a knot, some people say) & hang on. I get through until it gets better--and it always gets better.
But I have a terrific psychiatrist who works hard to help me, and I always demand both his and my best work on my behalf. You can get better, JanuaryGirl, with the right help.
Keep coming back.
Roadie