This is my first time posting in the Depression forum. I feel so lost lately. I spend my days not sure what step to take next. I am on medication and see a T. Sometimes I actually feel like the depression is lifting. Other times, I feel helpless and can't imagine how and when the depression will lift.

I hate feeling like this. I feel so strange, like no one (my husband mainly) understands how much pain I'm in. It's worse when I'm alone and unengaged with a productive activity or other people. Why do I not do more of this? Sometimes I just plain don't want to, or don't feel it will help. So I stay home for the most part and just pray (figuratively speaking) it will get better (I know that doesn't sound like the best solution.) It's just getting from here to there.

I have a lump in my throat so often but only last had a good cry with my therapist when he nailed everything on the head about how I feel. He suggested I write down my thoughts and do cognitive challenges to them. I think I will do that again right now. I know many of my negative thoughts are not true (e.g., I'm a loser, this will never get better so why even try, etc.)

Somehow I make it from day to day. The days just keep on rolling and I manage to stay alive. My life just seems so bleak, confusing and empty though. Yes, depression. I've been through this before, and can do it again! Finally, writing this all out has gotten me to a positive thought. Go figure!