Thanks everyone for the replies

Shattered sanity:
So you become a different person altogether? Like an opposite of who you are when depressed?

What you said makes complete sense to me as the first thing I recognize if I'm remaining consciously aware of my thoughts - is that I could tackle anything. That I can write something - then do something astounding with it. I even visualize my family and friends - in the event that I get success after suffering long and hard years with illness... For a moment it's 100% possible. If I concentrate on those thoughts - I can continue to escalate more and more and my positive thoughts become so reinforcing that my behavior can truly take on the notion that my life is actually that good... Of course, it never really is that good - and I'm right back to depression soon after when my life reflects negativity, not positivity.

Relate to that?

Ultramar,

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate your honesty. That's really what I think for the most part too - but I do know I can get to a threashold that just has to be mania of some kind. Definitely hypomania. I mean, to shed light - I wrote 300 pages by hand - of theories - spent days in my room writing these things - came up with highly intellectual ideas but they were brought on by an unrealistic euphoria. I was taking seroquel and zoloft at the time - it seems that when I take these meds - I can get to that euphoric state much easier. Is that a sign of potential bipolar tendency??

99 fairies,

Thanks for your reply. Can you ellaborate a bit more on what you relate to? Please - anything could help - I feel the need to bring this up with my therapist as soon as I can start therapy again.


Thanks,
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