(((((((((((((LOST_LONELY)))))))))))))
I'm so sorry that you're feeling so hopeless at the moment; my thoughts and prayers are with you. It's interesting to me that when you were almost in a crash yesterday that your "INSTINCT" is to hit the brakes. I too have nearly had numerous accidents, and some of them were intended to end my life, but the heart wants to beat on.
I went to church this morning; (2 weeks in a row, I'm impressed) and the message was about HOPE. It was definitely something that I needed to hear. You have been struggling so long to keep your head above water, but don't lose faith, there is an island in sight, just keep swimming that way, and if you can't swim anymore, just stay afloat and someone will rescue you soon.
I can assure you, that your prayers don't go unheard; don't give up.
Love,
Jon

KICK THE CABLE HABIT!!! http://www.vmcsatellite.com/?aid=84152