I know what you are talking about. I only drank juices(healthy ones with juicer) and used herbs and wholistic medicines to go down in weight one year. (gained it back now) Any who, I really can't tell you. It is agrivating to restart regular food in my diet such as eggs, and toast and roast beef, and a meal that ends with dessert. I am transitioning in spurts yet I am choosey about when and how I will eat (normally.) It was 7 months ago that I reached a medically normal size for the time being, (not a size I want) so I now try to eat real food maybe once a day and sometimes the whole day I surprise myself and ate 2 or three times the traditional food. (I DEFINATELY HAD TO PUT ON THAT STOMACH-LOWER BACK BRACE or I'd be over eating or doing the -Usual that E.D.'s are great at) So life on the food mill aint ever been my forte and aint never will be. I am never going to eat "right" I am not feeling sicker when I eat light weird, List ex. Vegetables, carrots, cottage cheese-nonfat, bird food type stuff for a day or two mingled in the diet. (My kids call me a bird) My spouse sometimes comments too when he pays big bucks to go to his favorite "Granny's Buffet" and I won't gorge myself-actually eat what everyone considers normal-cause I will over do it or whatever. So, I catch alot of crap from many sources including the pain of my own body and mind and soul.

Transitioning into mealtime is not easy. My stomach forgot how to digest milk products, pasta and bread-very much more than small amounts, without out FEELING - MIND YOU "FEELING IN MY BRAIN" like I ate the ape Godzilla.

I feel sad Freewill. I feel Almost defeated totally. I am so diminished. I am small and like a bug on my inside, I feel sometimes like I am a lowly sandcrab and he is better off for he can move in and out of different shells to suit the day.

I have had such Hell buying ready-wear. I couldn't afford the size I needed "26" and could only shop "at the Goodwill Store," I never had enough to wear. I woke up and wanted to go out but didn't have clothes to wear, because the few I had were dirty and I didn't have laundry change to do wash.

Than when I lost the weight and got to a medically ok size and didn't need to worry about dressing and leaving the housee in a hurry, GUYS started to act horney, all of a sudden they wanted to know who I was and get my name and stuff. These guys were in my school and groups for about 3 years and never saw me. They only "Saw" me after I was at the medical weight size.

My heart aches about E.D. I will never stop aching. Why did God give us this. Why? Why? Why?

You want to know what really burns me UP? Watching my man eat homefries with gravy, chickenfried steak, and eggs and "ME" I "Can't" (It will make me medically sick too) (I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know what is wrong with me Freewill. I don't know what is really wrong with me Freewill and I am "BURNT UP" I am really really really burnt up. Love Robin