Sounds like you have really suffered from your mental illness and have coped the best you new how to do. Are you still working? Are still taking drugs to escape? Do you have a psychiatrist? I hope you find relief soon.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha