Hi All,

This is my first post about my story. I'm a gay male, early 30s and I grew up youngest in a family of 6 siblings and generally went through a tirade of abuse from aged 12/13 onwards. From the outside I'm masculine yet was taunted with derogatory 'fag' name calling, threats, physical abuse (the odd face punch) all through my teenage years until I left home. All this came from a sociopathic brother (closest in age) who claims now that he was very sick back then (our family unit was quite dysfunctional - dad drank, mother prayed). As adults this brother is now 'attempting' peace so I let him in and yet when I do I note no remorse, I note only the same figure I feared, the same personality somewhat covered (as he can't just verbally abuse me). By giving him a bridge, am I hurting myself? Do you ever get over how a bully made you feel, moreso when the bully is a family member. I personally view this family member as a psychopath and feel awful about myself and highly self-aware/awkward in his company which he can clearly see and appears to enjoy.

Just floating this out there.

Thanks.